Chris Pratt Interrupts Interview To French Braid Intern’s Hair
SHUT THE HELL U P
this man has gone too far
Where does Marvel FIND these people?
Imagine - Chris Pratt and Jeremy Renner show up to your door the night of prom and your parents are like WHY DO YOU HAVE TWO DATES AND WHY ARE THEY SO BIG AND BEEFY AND INTIMIDATING but Chris is just like “Nah I’m hair” and Jeremy raises his hand and says “And I’m makeup”
surprisingly well done
me @ orlando bloom rn
i wish i was as cool as this guy
actual things i’ve heard ppl say
Recently my grandmother found out I’m queer. Her response was to tell me that she disapproves of me living with my “friend” (i.e. my girlfriend) and that I should give up my vile queer ways and become a Christian (Lol). She even sent me a bible. Here are its remains, which I made into black-out poetry.
Poem 1: Bisexual (from Leviticus 19:9)— “Have sexual relations with her. Have sexual relations with him. Have sexual relations with both a woman and a man. Have sexual relations with yourself. Vomit on everyone who does not respect you.”
Poem 2: Fisting (from Judges 8:5)— “water/ lap the water/ drink/go down to drink/your hands/go down/I give into your hands/go down/encouraged/down/on the seashore/the whole hand/your hand/inside/I get to the edge/and shout/grasping/crying out/Beth/Beth/Beth/Beth/Beth/God/I came”
Poem 3: A Letter to the Exiles (from Jeremiah 28:13) — “Ze said: ‘Do not let lies name you, nor harm your heart. Gather. Raise the sword against them. They scorn and reproach, for they have not listened— again and again have not listened.’ “
Poem 4: Child (from Ezekiel 16:22) — “Your father and your mother rubbed salt in. No one looked on you with pity or had compassion enough for you, for on the day you were born you were despised. Live! Grow. I looked at you and saw you were enough.”
Poem 5: Father (from Ezekiel 16:22) — “You never adored us. You became very angry. You took some out on us. Your sons and daughters were not enough? You slaughtered— in all your detestable practices— our youth.”
Poem 6: Misandry (from Acts 27:41) — “Dangerous men should be broken.”
The next time a man starts yelling at you, cut him off and tell him you just can’t talk to him when he’s being so emotional.
I have done this and can confirm that is a LOT of fun to watch them implode afterward.